My Old Media meets New

We made the JG's 5 questions yesterday, and decided to have a little fun with it. Its not every day that you can read completely useless rhetoric in the newspaper. Read it HERE

Change Ft Wayne, a new Web log devoted to discussion of Harrison Square, Matt Kelty’s campaign contributions, the smoking ban and many other local topics, has become a must-check bookmark for many Fort Wayne blog readers. Editorial writer Karen Francisco interviewed the blog’s creators – who prefer to remain anonymous – by e-mail to ask them to elaborate on some of the more innovative ideas they have suggested, all in good fun. Read their own postings at www.changeftwayne.blogspot.com

1. Your blog first appeared in the heat of the Harrison Square debate, seemingly to poke fun at a Fort Wayne mind-set opposing change, especially when it affects parking. Were you surprised when City Council approved the project?
Frankly, no, we weren’t too surprised at the City Council’s decision to approve Harrison Square. The reason? It’s amazing how much a $70 million bribe can buy you in this town. Want the world’s largest koi pond downtown? No problem.

2. Do you really think Fort Wayne residents are averse to change? They seem to like the recent innovations of water parks, multi-use facilities and NASCAR racetracks.
All valid ideas, and that’s why we’ve commissioned a study for the first-ever multiwater racetrack. We believe that this is an idea that we can all rally around. But I also hear that the Kentucky Derby and Indianapolis 500 are both looking for new venues, so we should not overlook those opportunities.

3. Your “Hallelujah” chorus dedication to City Councilman John Crawford suggests you are pleased by the newly enacted smoking ban. Won’t it destroy the ambiance of some of the city’s finer establishments?
Although we are concerned about the well-being of Smokey Bones, we believe that Fort Wayne will thrive through adversity – although we’re afraid Peerless Cleaners may suffer insurmountable damages.

4. I like your idea of creating a ski slope at the OmniSource property north of Headwaters Park, but how would you handle the parking?
You’re not lobbing us any easy questions today are you? I believe you are focusing on the wrong conundrum – what do you have to do before you park? You have to get there. This is where the true genius of the plan is. When people now talk about downtown, they say “fix the rivers” and “no highways.” We say, “exactly.” If you do the math, it would only take one bag of cement per Fort Wayne citizen to pave over the rivers and we’ve created a scenic and direct route into downtown Fort Wayne. Now, as for parking, we’ve got our eyes set directly on Headwaters – no one uses that thing anyway, right? With Fort Wayne’s natural 6-degree northern decline, skiers should be able to shooshboom right into the lift line.

5. I’m not sure that cicada invasion is going to eliminate Memorial Coliseum. Do you have any other suggestions for its reuse once the downtown baseball stadium opens?
It’s a rare known fact that a swarm of cicadas can eat through a 2-ton brick of cement and rebar in a little less than three minutes. It’s an amazing sight to see, and this is coming from a survivor of the ’89 foray. On the off chance Memorial Stadium doesn’t succumb to natural causes, we’ve already started aggressive talks with the WWNTBCSL – that’s World Wide National Tee-Ball Championship Series League. Although we are a little concerned about the size of the field – children are just bigger these days.